Here's my version of spoken word poetry. I kid you not, these lines were written with no pause, no second thought - just my thoughts pouring directly from the source, through my fingertips and onto this very screen. Featuring dramatic photo from Tumblr. I’m glad you have friends to help you forget your sins I’m over here crying feeling like I’m dying and all alone my voice a low tone all because I have this shitty job sit here and sob becuase it’s just me no friends i can see i did not betray you i was never untrue you broke your word ignored what you heard and it cost you this love but my hearts not so tough becuase I’m back you I cannot lack you ran away i thought you’d stay and while the world gives you comfort they forget i am also hurt im sitting here holding back tears unable to sleep unable to weep swollen eyes not feeling very wise my heart is aching any smile I’ll be faking you broke a promise what di
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A middle aged missionary came into work today. My mom works directly next door to me and had sent him over. "You must be Paige. Do you drink alcohol?" "No." "Do you smoke cigarettes?" "No." "Do you drive fast cars or eat hamburgers?" At this point I started laughing. He said, "Im just kidding, I like to start off with a joke so people don't automatically reject this coupon book I am selling." I laughed and he continued, "So on the first page you get a free hamburger, here you get a free kids meal and on the last page you get a free brownie. I am a missionary and have never been married. For the past 15 years I have been married to God. I believe that it is important to understand how God loves you before you can love someone else. Is your mom married?" I said technically. They are separated. "One day I hope to find a gem just like your mom. I think I am going to bring flowers later but shhh don't tell
As time goes on I often begin to notice people's quirks. Carol wears the same earrings every time I see her - Shannon is always wearing a t-shirt with a pony tail - Linda always talks about her family's agenda for the week - Lukas loves to use his eyebrows - the Asian man at the doughnut store always tries to find someway to make a laughable joke. This morning he asked if I just wanted water because I normally get my mother a tea. I explained that she had just had surgery this morning and was bed ridden. Oral surgery. He laughed and said she has to stay pretty like you! Followed by more of his pleaseant laughter. One of my favorite things to say has come to be? "Life is a funny thing." And as Forrest Gump would say, "that's all I have to say about that." (Please tell me you read that with his Southern accent!) Anyway, when it gets down to it, life moves along, people are people and we are all unique. To this I say, slow down and notice what's around
I basically almost sliced my finger off while opening a can of olives. It has been bleeding on and off now for three days. Poor finger. I keep putting bandaids on but they always fall off, cheap things. But hey, at least the pizza that gave purpose to the olives turned out delicious. Don't worry though, it was 100% sauce, no blood in the night's recipe. The day after the olive incident I woke up feeling aimless and dare I say, depressed. I felt unsure of just about everything. I worked all day and decided to binge watch Mad Men (I work at a vintage shop that isn't too busy) and surprisingly made it through three episodes. Once the day was over going home seemed unappealing so I drove around Riverside for the next 20 minutes, arrived home and decided to run a mile. 9 minutes and 55 seconds. Can I just say THAT IS HORRIBLE. But then again, I ended up not getting the chance to eat all day, there was a major lack of sleep involved, and it was about ninety degrees outside. Ma
A new hair color, a cute french styled outfit complete with big square earnings and rich red lipstick can make for a content Paige. I don't dress to impress. I don't look nice for none other than myself (And the "bae") and boy does it feel good to feel good. I left the house feeling pretty satisfied with life. This content turned to feeling overjoyed because not only will it be 87 degrees today (compared to the 100 degrees it's been) which means its finally cooling down, but a nice gentleman told me I was very pretty. This simple compliment made me feel good about myself, coming from a complete stranger. Javier was his name, middle aged and interested in buying paint. Yes, people tell me I'm pretty all the time. The "special guy in my life," my mom, relatives, friends... and although it means a lot to me and I believe that they think as such, somehow I feel extra special when a stranger says it. Subconsciously I think its because people close to m
I'm sitting here at work messing with my Mac photo booth when two girls around my age walk in. Instantly my composure changes. I say my usual "hello, let me know if I can help you with anything" and stare into the soul of my laptop screen appearing to look busy. "How much is this night stand?" one of them asks. At this moment, I realized I have officially become socially awkward with fellow females of my age group. How do I interact with these strange creatures? Why do I feel like they are watching my every move? I walk over to check the front of the night stand when to my surprise I hit my head on the window. Ow. "theres a window there" I comment, trying my best to be "cool". I think it worked because they both laughed. The nightstand although in a set, could be sold separately for $85.00. Out of their price range apparently. I say sorry about that and awkwardly walk back to my safety zone at the counter when again, they ask about a price on
Yesterday I was at work going through old pictures on my laptop. there were two things that happened. First, I began to morn the loss of my long hair. I questioned why I kept damaging my precious locks with bleach and hair die only to have to chop it off in the end. In short my hair journey goes like this: Once upon a time, highlights, more highlights, red hair dye, more red hair day, bleach, bleach, bleach, brown hair dye and this Monday, more brown hair dye. Not a very nice story is it? Anyway, the second thing I noticed were the differences in pictures of me then and now. Was I happier back then? Have I simply just gotten older and the spry young face I had has it's womanly aspects now? As pathetic as it sounds, I began to question my own happiness. What was making the difference in the photographs? I came across one in particular and thought how much I didn't like it because I looked so happy. What happened? Or did nothing happen at all? This is what I've concluded.
Can we ever just live? Why is it so many people feed off of: 1. doing things behind others backs 2. tearing others down because of jealousy 3. competition 4. evil craving to be "top dog" 5. not being happy for other's success Seriously, the list goes on. What is it to "just live" any way? 1. finding joy or positivity despite "negative" circumstances 2. being happy for other's success 3. the desire to try your best to be successful instead of knocking others down to get there 4. Be positively aware of others, not negatively aware 5. be kind, be friendly, be joyful, be peaceful... Take a look around and BE thankful for the life you have. If you're still not happy, do something about it that doesn't involve maleficent intentions. I have really not had any drama in my life because I refuse to feed on it. Instead, I feed off of positivity. Frankly, it's not worth my time to plot against those who starve without a stimulus of ne
"America has a thick sugar coating while the inside is rotten. I truly miss my country. If you ever go to LA you need to try a Peruvian restaurant called Piccca - you will understand why I love my country so much. " She had her daughter with her. One of the most well behaved girls her age I have ever seen. She had an older daughter, 23 years old, as well. "My eldest daughter is beautiful but I taught her not to focus on that, men focus on that. Beauty is just a moment." She spoke using hand gestures and every thing she said was with great wisdom. Life had not been a breeze. In Peru she had come from a political family. "My uncle was very political. He thought like John Kennedy but the government does not like people who think as such. He was killed. My family and I went to France to save our lives. Because we supported a democracy they said go to the United States and once in the United States they stamped the very same day. All because we said democracy."
After a good cry there are two things that stand out. The ringing in your ears from the pressure in your face and feeling emotionless yet feeling all the pain at the same time. It almost creates an eerie feel. The world disappears and all that's left are the thoughts racing through your mind and an almost completely still body. Each breath is long and weak. Did all those tears actually help or just make a bigger mess?
It's no lie, most of us know I have dated, talked to, and "girl-friended" a lot of guys. And for what? Because I can't stand to be alone? Because I like the attention? Because I want to figure out what I want in a future spouse? Because it's fun and I get tired of the last one? The truth is, I believe everyone deserves a chance. Naturally, I am a bubbly individual and as one of my friends said, I am also a "boy magnet." Keep in mind I say that as humbly as humble gets. I don't know why, I can't help it - guys enter my life as easily as change goes in a jar. I enjoy talking to people and generally get a long better with guys (I feel there is a shortage of females in Riverside) yet at the same time, I have lost a lot of friends because they begin liking me past just being friends. Looking at love-life past, I would only consider two relationships to be serious. One two years and the other a year and a half. Aside from that, some were flings - w
Elsewhere Madness - noun - 1. Madness caused by the desire to be anywhere but where one currently is 2. A strong desire to move elsewhere that doesn't involve places one has seen a million times 3. A madness that comes over an individual at the sight of a place they wish to travel *note: when all of these feelings are taken into account as currently being experienced, it is time for a move or vacation. *Example sentences: 1. I'm starting to feel elsewhere madness after sifting through my pictures from Seattle, Washington. 2. After not have gone to the beach in three months I am starting to have elsewhere madness.
I was outside of the vintage store I am working at watering the plants when he walked past and said good morning. I kindly smiled and returned the casual conversation, "good morning." a few minutes later he walked by and began telling me something, "Yesterday a white guy calls me nigger and what do I do? I turn around and punch him. well after that he began running and who's the one who gets written up by the cop? Me. He got off on everything. you know, people better be careful what they say around here. I tell my girlfriend to expect the unexpected in every situation." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Well anyway, you have a good day, God bless." "You have a good day too." Whether or not his story is true, it disgusts me to know there are still individuals who look down on someone for their race. People shouldn't "judge a book by its cover" but by
It amazes me how something so innocent can be completely wrong. Something such as a kiss. Before hand, everything feels wonderfully good. There's flirting, teasing, and convincing talk - when all of a sudden the moment you were waiting for happens: the kiss. An amazing kiss. One love sick soul is romantically pushed against the wall and two pairs of lips become intertwined. The moment is heated. It happens so slowly yet in the blink of an eye - because before you know it, it's over. All the build up for what was thought to be an innocent kiss - when really, the innocence was taken away the moment lips touched. It wasn't worth it. Although one day it might be, this day it was not and for that, feelings of regret are what's left. After all, it was only "just a kiss." But wait, it was never "just a kiss." In the same way "something" was never "just something" but a thing of importance - a thing to be valued. If your hea
This is what marks the start. The start of what may or may not make sense - aka the madness that goes on in this gooey pink thing that is my brain. I know, I'm already sounding so intelligent. At this moment I am not entirely sure what the future posts have in store so I feel it is only right to say, I cannot entirely give you a proper introduction. Yes, I know I was redundant with the word "entirely" - This is what I like to entirely call emphasis. SO here it goes - 10 facts about me: 1. My name is Paige 2. I am an avid coffee drinker and life simply doesn't make sense when caffeine is excluded in my daily activities (I am addicted and am well aware of my problem) 3. I love to laugh (hence my Instagram username: laughalot0912) - what comes with the territory of loving to laugh is laughing at all the wrong moments, like when my friend told me his dog died (thank god he was kidding) 4. I have a dappled chiwini (Chihuahua and Dachshund hound mix) named Stell