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Showing posts with the label it will be okay

The Reality of Being a Single Mom

At the end of the day I hold her tight before laying my daughter down for sleep. We say a prayer and I tell her to "give mama kisses." We give kisses and down she goes. I walk out quietly, close the door and sigh. It is usually around 9pm, not 7:30pm like everyone else seems to stick with. But I am okay with that. Most of the time I go to sleep right after putting her down. As long as I know she isn't going to wake back up from the light noise of me getting in bed across from her crib. Throughout the night we wake each other up so often I end up on the couch, which is okay too. The day usually starts around 5:30 am - 6 am. I roll out of bed (or couch) and make us both spinach and eggs or tofu for breakfast, about halfway through the process she wakes up. "Mama!" I pause to make sure I did in fact here her call. "Mama!" Some mornings she even wakes up singing my name in her own little melody. She always has to have her "baby" in her ar...

Noise

Inside my head I'm screaming the noise never stops I am tired of feeling like an issue tissue after tissue I cry they think to themselves why why why? They place ideas and concepts on who they want me to be or who they think I am They are so scared  they don't even see the real me standing right here being open and honest and real I try to tell them how I feel And all of a sudden before I can finish these things are an issue I am not doing anything wrong I am trying my best to stay so strong I have a beautiful daughter who matters to me most and even that is put into question I am starting to feel more lost  I am closing the walls feel like they are caving they don't even see what I am craving I want to be close I want them to know who I am and want to be or at least help while I am on the way there I feel scared I want to raise her  while also succeeding how can I do both? we need to get away I don...