Look At This Madness

Inside my head I'm screaming the noise never stops I am tired of feeling like an issue tissue after tissue I cry they think to themselves why why why? They place ideas and concepts on who they want me to be or who they think I am They are so scared  they don't even see the real me standing right here being open and honest and real I try to tell them how I feel And all of a sudden before I can finish these things are an issue I am not doing anything wrong I am trying my best to stay so strong I have a beautiful daughter who matters to me most and even that is put into question I am starting to feel more lost  I am closing the walls feel like they are caving they don't even see what I am craving I want to be close I want them to know who I am and want to be or at least help while I am on the way there I feel scared I want to raise her  while also succeeding how can I do both? we need to get away I don...

Growing up my mom fed my sister and me carrots and grapes while all the other kids were eating cookies and potato chips. I hated it. We were trying to prevent what we thought would turn into diabetes - however, this was not the case. Later it was found out that our livers apparently don't process animal products properly, such as red meat and even eggs. Because of this, our bad cholesterol levels were well above average putting us at high risk for heart disease. Moving on to high school, I was tired of eating so healthy all the time that I pretty much jumped into the pool of junk food for the next few years, not giving a care for my body and the risk I was taking. By Junior and Senior year my favorite place to eat was (and still is) In-N-Out and I was making weekly visits. Not to mention anything with bacon was the way to my heart. Moving on to about three months ago, I had some blood work done and sure enough my bad cholesterol levels were high. (confession: the night before my ...