Look At This Madness

  I’m pretty sure I just saw the man of my dreams… And now he’s gone… Forever. I was at the post office getting money orders when a handsome cowboy walks in right behind me.   He had a nice brown cowboy hat, blue button up shirt, some rather nice fitting jeans and boots, of course. At that moment I realized something….. I should probably start dressing better. I was wearing a Lion King sweatshirt with black cutoff shorts and sandals. Not even cute sandals, they were basically slides but for a boat. If that makes sense. I stood there in line, trying to look as confident and pretty as possible, but you can only be so pretty with your hair in a bun wearing a sweatshirt and grungy shorts.   I made attempts to steal glances at him, but he didn’t notice. It wasn’t long until I was called up to the cashier and was then having to socialize with the cashier while he printed my money orders.   The cowboy was right beside me with the other teller and all I could do was try to s...

     What...a..day... I turn my car on to leave to drop my daughter off at school and of course the light signaling a flat tire comes on. I get out and check the tires, they looked good enough to keep driving, so I did. Fingers crossed it's just the cooler weather causing the air to contract.  My oil change notification has also been on my dash for the last week, which I've been utterly in denial of - you don't want to know how little money I have in my bank account and after all of this, for SOME REASON I thought it would be a good idea to buy some hair dye -  it wasn't.  I dyed my hair this morning and mistakenly used two times the correct amount of developer than I should have.  After wondering how I had so much leftover dye AND why my scalp was BURNING,   it all came full circle when I discovered the 1:1 ratio I should have used, was in fact 1:2. Thirty minutes in and about to wash this stuff out, I realize I've made a huge mistake....

When you have a baby, talking to yourself becomes a normal thing Why does everyone say they hate the smell of spit up? Her (or his) first words were "hi" and "mama".....yes, she was only 2 months old at the time, but it happened That whitish stain on you see everyday on my shoulder, thats called a name tag, it says "Mom" My baby is the cutest on the planet, obviously Completing a manicure yourself might mean you were only able to finish one hand What does it mean to sleep through the night again? Baby giggles are the best sound on the entire planet To your boobs: "Who are you two and why do you look like that?" At least your arms are looking nice and toned

PC: cluestolife.wordpress.com 1. If a stop sign is enclosed in a gate, it does not exist 2. Speed bumps: bumps you speed over 3. Want a cookie? Oatmeal raisin is always healthy. Go for it. 4. If you say "take me home" and refuse to get out of the car, things will sort out...eventually. 5. If your car was made after 1977 and before 2005, there's no point in a car wash 6. Honey Nut Cheerios are never filling. It's the hole. 7. Any time you make food and it turns out looking abnormal, say it's Greek. Greek food is always acceptable despite appearance. 8. Say you had 3 hours of sleep and the following day a 2 hour nap. That means you slept 3 hours. 9. Dark chocolate is always healthy. No guilt, just pleasure. 10. Say three people you know are sick and you sneeze three times. Only one thing makes sense: the world is falling apart. 11. If you find yourself needing to walk on wet grass while wearing flip flops, tiptoe run, your feet get l...

When you have a baby, talking to yourself becomes a totally normal thing Why does everyone say they hate the smell of spit up? Her (or his) first words were "hi" and "mama".....yes, she was only 2 months old at the time, but it happened That spit up stain on you see everyday on my shoulder, that's called a name tag: "Mom" My baby is the cutest on the planet, obviously Baby wipes? You mean makeup removing wipes? Who needs a special burp rag that cost 10 dollars when you have kitchen towels? Imagine if I had as many clothes as my baby You know it's time for you to eat when baby starts crying Please, be happy and content for 10 minutes so I can get ready for the day I can't wait for you to start talking and walking Why can't she be the size of a loaf of bread again?! Babies can be blamed for any bad smell or when you're running late Why do people have more than one baby? Now I get why people have more babies ...

Yesterday I was at Goodwill with my mom and brother and while I was looking at the clothing, my brother asked me what "Paige as a mom" wanted for Christmas. It was in that moment I realized, I don't really know what I like any more. All I could think about was diapers or Starbucks and Starbucks really doesn't count. I've found myself trying to figure out what I actually like besides anything to do with Ella and boy, it's a tough one. When your little person comes into the world nothing else seems to matter - nothing.  What do moms like? I like face wash and face lotions or grocery shopping... Anything organic or all natural... plants are neat, like the scallions I'm proudly growing in a cup in the kitchen. The scallions are like my little plant children. I'm 21 years old and that's all I got on the list of 'what I like' - What an odd thing. Mom Likes: plants groceries face lotions eye cream organic all natural nifty cooking spa...

Women have two forms of speech, literal, and their own versions of figurative. I have come to realize my mom‘s version of "Just a second," "I’m ready," or "I’m on the way," has a very figurative meaning. I however, speak literally when I say "Just a second," I am grabbing my keys and walking out the door. "I’m ready," means that I am waiting to leave and I am fully ready to do so. "I’m on the way," means I am physically driving in my car and on the way to the destination.  On the flip side, my mom's version of "Just a second," actually means she may or may not be about to get in the shower, still needs to get dressed, put some makeup on and of course, blow dry her hair.  "I’m ready," in fact means she is at least dressed though her hair is still dripping wet and she may or may not be in the middle of putting her makeup on. "I’m ready," may also look like dripping hair, and trying on all th...

The other day I had an appointment with a couple at five o'clock to discuss dog sitting. At four thirty I was on my way home to take a nap completely forgetting the appointment. I woke up at six o'clock to see her text, "I'll be at my house in five minutes" - sent an hour ago. Half asleep I call her and apologize greatly and explain that with this pregnancy brain of mine I totally forgot. She was not upset and I let her know I would be at her house in about 20 minutes. Frantically I grab my purse, spend two seconds looking in the mirror and head to my car. As I'm getting out of my car in front of their house I realize I have also forgotten to put my bra back on. The entire time I held my arms up holding my phone and resting on the top of my baby bump trying to conceal any chance of visible nipple. Not only am I pretty sure they noticed and avoided looking any lower than my face, but I left feeling totally mortified and still having to take care of their ...