What She Actually Means

Women have two forms of speech, literal, and their own versions of figurative. I have come to realize my mom‘s version of "Just a second," "I’m ready," or "I’m on the way," has a very figurative meaning. I however, speak literally when I say "Just a second," I am grabbing my keys and walking out the door. "I’m ready," means that I am waiting to leave and I am fully ready to do so. "I’m on the way," means I am physically driving in my car and on the way to the destination. 

On the flip side, my mom's version of "Just a second," actually means she may or may not be about to get in the shower, still needs to get dressed, put some makeup on and of course, blow dry her hair.  "I’m ready," in fact means she is at least dressed though her hair is still dripping wet and she may or may not be in the middle of putting her makeup on. "I’m ready," may also look like dripping hair, and trying on all three of her new jeans she bought the other day while also contemplating what shoes to wear and if she can find her black converse after their sudden disappearance. My mom's version of "On the way," means she is still in her room possibly changing her shirt and putting her shoes on. Though one of her most famous versions of "On the way" is standing in the line at Starbucks and chatting with the baristas or the other "regulars" in line. 

This is to say, 8:30am often means 8:45am and Starbucks is always necessary. 
Which one are you?