Look At This Madness

Finding a sense of self identity as a solo mom can be hard. I've been struggling to figure out what makes me happy, aside from my daughter. So I took a moment and asked myself, when am I happy? Whenever I'm outside. So Fourth of July morning my daughter (who will be two on Sunday!!!!) and I hiked up to Pumpkin Rock, in Norco. I only fell on my arse once on the downhill. Definitely did not sit there a moment pretending I did it on purpose in case anyone was watching.  I have taken two different ways up the hill and both are pretty steep. Generally, I don't know if I would recommend this hike to moms with two year olds for that reason. Along with the fact there is a lot of broken glass mixed in with the sand at the top. I don't know about your child, but mine loves to throw sand. If you have good shoes on and know how to make proper foot placements then definitely go fo it though. Ella had a blast and so did I.  Moving along...  Truth be told, the nasty thi...

Routine. Schedule. Maintain. Just some of the words I hear as a mom, on a regular basis. The three words I have loathed for nearly the whole of my daughter's life. I am not one for routines, it is nice to maintain variety and change, not routine. My daughter was nearly one year old by the time I finally grew to be more open to maintaining a schedule and it has proven to be very helpful. My excuse before routines entered our lives? "I can't make her tired, or hungry or want to go to sleep." Finally, after my stubborn self decided to try this "routine" thing moms are always talking about, she sleeps and eats pretty regularly now: 6:00 am: Wake up 6:30 am: Eat breakfast 7:45 am: Drop her off with her grandparents; at some point, she eats another meal 9:00 am: It's nap time! 12:00 pm: Time to get my love bug from grandparents 12:30pm -1:00 pm: she eats another meal 3:00pm - 4:00 pm: Nap time again! 5:00pm - 6:00 pm: It's dinner time! ...

HATE: 1. Watching rom-coms is actually kind of depressing 2. Suddenly the only people I notice are in fact couples 3. Everyone but me seems to be in a relationship 4. I miss the butterflies 5. My dog is the one who gives me comfort 6. I have to spoon with my dog at night 8. I am stuck kissing my dog's forehead 9. I am stuck holding my dog's paw 10. My dog 11. Practically every song ever created is about love 12. Am I going to wind up a spinster? 13. While my sister already has a wedding fund I'm...oh yeah, single 14. I can't exactly go on double dates... yet 15. I miss really knowing someone 16. Lack of raw conversation with a significant other 17. After talking about how wonderful someone is and making sure the world knows it, only to find out Mr. Wonderful was lying the whole time and now everyone is bound to find out you're single again 18. I know who I am and I know my story but jeez, I can't imagine what people think of me - "Oh wow,...

It's no lie, most of us know I have dated, talked to, and "girl-friended" a lot of guys. And for what? Because I can't stand to be alone? Because I like the attention? Because I want to figure out what I want in a future spouse? Because it's fun and I get tired of the last one? The truth is, I believe everyone deserves a chance. Naturally, I am a bubbly individual and as one of my friends said, I am also a "boy magnet." Keep in mind I say that as humbly as humble gets. I don't know why, I can't help it - guys enter my life as easily as change goes in a jar. I enjoy talking to people and generally get a long better with guys (I feel there is a shortage of females in Riverside) yet at the same time, I have lost a lot of friends because they begin liking me past just being friends. Looking at love-life past, I would only consider two relationships to be serious. One two years and the other a year and a half. Aside from that, some were flings - w...