Look At This Madness

Dating someone for the first time after a terrible break up can be fun yet also terrifying. After splitting with my daughter's father I took a year to focus on my daughter and me and remained male free (well mostly).  After the year was up a guy I had previously dated found his way back into my life and we started back up again. I had no walls, no second thoughts, no lock on my heart. He was pretty good with my daughter. Never harsh with her, just shy and mildly uninvolved. I figured he would adjust. It felt like we had a future, after all, we had dated before. I wasn't scared. I gave him all of me and in return, months later he said he never saw a future for us because my daughter was not his. To say it bluntly, DICK MOVE. It hurt. I can't imagine stringing someone along for months only to tell them it was never going to work because of an innocent child not being theres. My daughter and I are much better off without him, to say the least. Unfortunately, this one left ...

HATE: 1. Watching rom-coms is actually kind of depressing 2. Suddenly the only people I notice are in fact couples 3. Everyone but me seems to be in a relationship 4. I miss the butterflies 5. My dog is the one who gives me comfort 6. I have to spoon with my dog at night 8. I am stuck kissing my dog's forehead 9. I am stuck holding my dog's paw 10. My dog 11. Practically every song ever created is about love 12. Am I going to wind up a spinster? 13. While my sister already has a wedding fund I'm...oh yeah, single 14. I can't exactly go on double dates... yet 15. I miss really knowing someone 16. Lack of raw conversation with a significant other 17. After talking about how wonderful someone is and making sure the world knows it, only to find out Mr. Wonderful was lying the whole time and now everyone is bound to find out you're single again 18. I know who I am and I know my story but jeez, I can't imagine what people think of me - "Oh wow,...

His wondering mind has gotten the best of him before and his future won't be much different. He'll find a girl who is perfect. But then again, they all were. She has just enough rebellion in her blood but not so much as to make an imbalance. They are perfect for each other because of the fact they balance each other out. After two years of dating they will get married and after two years of an okay marriage he will wonder once again. Too many shots and two handful hits of weed and he's gone. Now begins the blackout. He won't remember most of everything that happened except for the girl he cheated with. She was a brunette, spunky, playful and worst of all, tempting. The worst part though is he fell into the temptation. His mind in a dark oblivion, knowing it was wrong but being to heavily influenced to stop. The next morning he'll lie there feeling empty, full of regret, and a clouded mind. What have I done? he'll think to himself. The girl who was once p...

It's no lie, most of us know I have dated, talked to, and "girl-friended" a lot of guys. And for what? Because I can't stand to be alone? Because I like the attention? Because I want to figure out what I want in a future spouse? Because it's fun and I get tired of the last one? The truth is, I believe everyone deserves a chance. Naturally, I am a bubbly individual and as one of my friends said, I am also a "boy magnet." Keep in mind I say that as humbly as humble gets. I don't know why, I can't help it - guys enter my life as easily as change goes in a jar. I enjoy talking to people and generally get a long better with guys (I feel there is a shortage of females in Riverside) yet at the same time, I have lost a lot of friends because they begin liking me past just being friends. Looking at love-life past, I would only consider two relationships to be serious. One two years and the other a year and a half. Aside from that, some were flings - w...

It amazes me how something so innocent can be completely wrong. Something such as a kiss.  Before hand, everything feels wonderfully good. There's flirting, teasing, and convincing talk - when all of a sudden the moment you were waiting for happens: the kiss.  An amazing kiss. One love sick soul is romantically pushed against the wall and two pairs of lips become intertwined. The moment is heated. It happens so slowly yet in the blink of an eye - because before you know it, it's over. All the build up for what was thought to be an innocent kiss - when really, the innocence was taken away the moment lips touched. It wasn't worth it. Although one day it might be, this day it was not and for that, feelings of regret are what's left.  After all, it was only "just a kiss." But wait, it was never "just a kiss." In the same way "something" was never "just something" but a thing of importance - a thing to be valued.  If your hea...