After the year was up a guy I had previously dated found his way back into my life and we started back up again. I had no walls, no second thoughts, no lock on my heart. He was pretty good with my daughter. Never harsh with her, just shy and mildly uninvolved. I figured he would adjust. It felt like we had a future, after all, we had dated before. I wasn't scared. I gave him all of me and in return, months later he said he never saw a future for us because my daughter was not his. To say it bluntly, DICK MOVE. It hurt. I can't imagine stringing someone along for months only to tell them it was never going to work because of an innocent child not being theres.
My daughter and I are much better off without him, to say the least. Unfortunately, this one left me pretty scared. I know what you might be thinking, "Don't let that a$$hole make you feel bad!" Truth is, I did and I put a wall up. If you don't make yourself vulnerable again, you won't get hurt, right?
Well, someone new found their way into my life. (After knowing him for five or six years now.) He's always been there for me, always there to talk to and laugh with.
We've had our ups and downs though, that's for sure. Back when I was eighteen we sorta had a 'thing' as one might say. He was twenty-six. It was fun for the short time it lasted but I was definitely not ready. It wasn't a painful, "let's just be friends." It just sort of stopped because I floated onto the next guy.
The energy between us has always been REAL though. The moment both of us are in the same room, everyone feels it. He's magnetic in a way no other guy has ever been. I could go into detail on that but I'd probable lose you, if I haven't already.
Have you ever felt like all the points in your life make sense and you are exactly where you should be?
Falling for him was unexpected. I swore countless times I would never be his and that we would never work. But hey, it's working and quite well.It hasn't been easy though. Have you ever been so scared of getting hurt you try to shove your feelings deep down so you think you'll feel them a little less? Just like that question, it's all confusing. We started out casual, which turned into not so casual, which turned into "Holy crap I think I lalalala him." You get the idea.
Over the last few months I have had to take my wall down brick by brick. I was terrified of getting hurt again and feeling especially protective over my daughter.
This one is different though. I know it. I've known him this long already and I'm so bonkers for him.
Find you a man who can always make you smile and pretty much always has the right thing to say. Find someone who is supportive, encouraging, thoughtful and makes you want to try new things. I didn't know they existed but they do. He's amazing and obnoxious and hilarios and I love it. Ugh! I could write a whole post on why he's amazing! The struggle to keep it short!
As a single parent, make sure the person you are with loves your child just as much as they do you. If you can't see your significant other as a parent you shouldn't be seeing them at all, learned that the first go around. If they aren't taking initiative in your child's life, why should you take initiative in their life? My daughter is the most valuable part of my world and I found someone that values her. This is so important! The involvement of a significant other should be number one on your priority list. I don't care how happy he or she makes you or how good they are in bed, babies should always come first.
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