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Don't Dwell...

Yesterday I was at work going through old pictures on my laptop. there were two things that happened. First, I began to morn the loss of my long hair. I questioned why I kept damaging my precious locks with bleach and hair die only to have to chop it off in the end. In short my hair journey goes like this: Once upon a time, highlights, more highlights, red hair dye, more red hair day, bleach, bleach, bleach, brown hair dye and this Monday, more brown hair dye. Not a very nice story is it?

Anyway, the second thing I noticed were the differences in pictures of me then and now. Was I happier back then? Have I simply just gotten older and the spry young face I had has it's womanly aspects now? As pathetic as it sounds, I began to question my own happiness. What was making the difference in the photographs? I came across one in particular and thought how much I didn't like it because I looked so happy. What happened? Or did nothing happen at all?

This is what I've concluded. I am in fact happy and I should stop questioning that. Life happened. I have gone on quite the adventure over the past two years. There have been times I felt completely content and times I felt completely empty. Of all the mistakes I have made though, I would say I have lived. I've experienced life in a way a lot of people my age have not. What can I say, I have had fun. And for that I am thankful.

Often people dwell on the "mistake" rather than focusing on the positive aspect. When the dwelling begins, i believe growth as an individual ceases. I've spent so much time thinking about why I did this, why I did that, when I should have accepted the consequences for my decision and MOVED ON WITH LIFE. I am not the same me I was two years ago or even a week ago for that matter and it's a waist of energy to dwell on every wrong turn.

Fast forward to this morning. I woke up feeling less than satisfied with life when all of a sudden it hit me: being happy is a choice. I was choosing to be happy back then and it's time to chose to be happy now. It's time to stop looking at my life through the pessimistic perspective and be glad that I am alive and well. There may be a lot of things I don't like right now but I need to listen to my own advice and not dwell on it because there is way
more I can be thankful for.
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