Look At This Madness

Inside my head I'm screaming the noise never stops I am tired of feeling like an issue tissue after tissue I cry they think to themselves why why why? They place ideas and concepts on who they want me to be or who they think I am They are so scared  they don't even see the real me standing right here being open and honest and real I try to tell them how I feel And all of a sudden before I can finish these things are an issue I am not doing anything wrong I am trying my best to stay so strong I have a beautiful daughter who matters to me most and even that is put into question I am starting to feel more lost  I am closing the walls feel like they are caving they don't even see what I am craving I want to be close I want them to know who I am and want to be or at least help while I am on the way there I feel scared I want to raise her  while also succeeding how can I do both? we need to get away I don...

Where have you gone? I miss you I miss the feeling I miss the high I keep thinking you'll come back And capture me like you used to Give me hope Make me smile Make me feel invincible You've been gone a while now Our longest separation And it's killing me I used to feel free You made me feel alive Now I feel lost and unsure I feel run down And tired Don't worry though I am happier now Despite the lack of you I am happier I know you'll come back When the timing is right I will write I will feel you coursing my mind and body Until then I will miss you And wait

Being a mom has made me... more confident stronger want to live a healthy lifestyle feel inspired laugh cry realize how far I have come realize how far I have to go struggle at times forget what sleep was a baby person more caring willing to sacrifice feel more complete than I knew was possible forget about me at times love baby giggles more than anything more understanding more considerate want to exercise want to live my best life happy a better person.

I googled the word 'happiness' and the example sentence was, "She struggled to find happiness in her life." At first it gave me a chuckle but the more I thought about it, this is actually kind of sad. Okay Google, why would you choose a depressing sentence to express a joyful word? Shouldn't it say something like, "She found happiness in her life" or "She was overwhelmed with happiness in her life"...?  My happiness is about perspective.  At times the silver lining seems nonexistent. When I am feeling down in the dumps, I have to stop and think, we are all going through something. Each and every person has had something happen in their life that is less than wonderful, it is simply a matter of how the negativity is handled.  Right now it is a struggle living with my daughter in a small room at my moms making $20 or less a day.  Growing up, I always thought I would be happily married before having a kid and my husband and I wo...

1. Going to the Park. Whether you have a child or not,  the park is a great way to find relaxation. Now that my daughter is interested in everything and walking around everywhere, the park has become a pretty regular place for us. Even if she's more interested in the wood chips over the slides for the time being. 2. Walk or run in your neighborhood.  Running is a vital part to my week. It is great exercise and a perfect stress reliever. Starting out can be a challenge but once you get over the hump, running will be something you look forward to. 3. Window shopping. The mall has also become a pretty regular place for us and you don't have to have a child to find it relaxing. We walk around the mall without spending a dime usually once a week. People watching provides entertainment at any stage in life. 4. Kick back and relax in the front or back yard.  Studies have shown that being outside is good for your overall health. Take a moment and enjoy the world around...

As a mom I am all about all natural, happy, healthy, organic, etc. to the point my friends and family are annoyed at times.  I was at Target a few months back and came across a new line of perfume called Good Chemistry . Of course I had only gone in for a new blouse but that is how going to Target plays out. You go in for one thing and come out with twenty. After browsing the cosmetic department I wound up purchasing the Good Chemistry scent known as ' Wild Child ' not only because it is totally appropriate in regards to the kind of person I am, but it is vegan, pareben-free and made with essential oils. It is everything I love in a bottle. On Target.com, this scent is described as "...a just right composition of instinct and identity that designs a life that pops with personality. Fragrance notes of bergamot, coconut, and bamboo make our Wild Child body mist mischievous + bright with looks to match." If you have not already I would highly recommend going to ch...

Crawlers and new walkers are notorious for putting anything and everything in their mouths. Here is a list of personal experiences to give fair warning and awareness to anyone with a little one. 1. Tiny Screws. I am listing this one first because we wound up in the ER. My mom had just moved into a new house and was painting a desk. She had taken the doors off to make for an easier paint job but for whatever reason left the tiny screws on the floor. Let's just say there were a total of 8 tiny screws and when I discovered what Ella was playing with, there were only seven screws. So we wound up in ER, thankfully, there was no screws in her tummy but it was not a fun experience to say the least.  2. Paper in any form. At 13 months old, her latest paper muse is the label you see on all water bottles. She also enjoys paper towels and receipts. SO be warned, if you need to save a receipt, keep it away from the baby!  3. The end of my iPhone charger. I know how bad this ...